My Love Hate Relationship with Romance

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As you see from the title, I’m talking about romance. Valentine’s day has gone and passed and I decided let’s talk about my aversion for this thing called love.

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It’s not that I don’t like romance as a concept: when I was younger, I lived for the romantic subplot in all the movies and books I consumed. Yet when I sat down and saw the two character fall in love, I was left griping at the smallest things. The sexual tension. The characters in general. And at first, I thought it had something to do with my asexuality, back when I was still figuring things out. But no.  I just don’t like the execution. And it’s even worse in movies. The two hour time frame forces me to believe this relationship could have happened this way. For some reason, my brain doesn’t compute the time jumps or montages or something.


This is probably why I’m more lenient towards romance in books though barely; we have more time to see things develop and grow, making me believe that this relationship could happen and stay solid. Except… after the initial get together, I’m bored. This happens in the majority of books I read; the slow burn, the banter, all of it is something I live for. But as soon as the characters have one kiss, my attention runs for the hills. In these books it’s the same old I love them, would die for them, their kiss ignited me; all of the same, repeated phrases and feelings. But then when there’s an added conflict, it’s becomes a why can’t you talk this out situation.

But then there’s the romance genre in general, where there’s nothing else to the story— no elves or royalty or a government to take down. It’s just a guy and a girl in a modern day setting. No one has any hobbies except thinking about the love interest in question after two hours of them meeting. It especially bugs me when the characters are in a big city. How do you guys keep running into each other? There’s only so many times you can pull a fate card.

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Let’s talk about my favorite series of all time ever, The Others series it’s about time it makes an appearance again. It takes five books for the two characters to get together and all we get it a kiss at the end of the book. One simple kiss and not only was I satisfied, but of course I want more. Yet it was more than just me wanting them to get together so bad. It was how he was cautious about her feelings on men after her sexual abuse. It was her concern about how her seclusion in the past made her naive towards people and how she could learn about him so not to hurt in. It was care. It was friendship. It was beautiful.


Okay, I just used a full paragraph to gush about my fave. Sorry.

So, while I’m always griping about romance, I think I may be a romantic at heart. If you dig really deep. With a pickaxe. Deep down in there, I’m still that little girl searching for a good romance to make my heart sing <3.

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What are your thoughts on romance? Let me know in the comments below!

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16 thoughts on “My Love Hate Relationship with Romance”

  1. I think I get more jaded as I get older haha.

    I also think since I’ve been in a long term relationship, I feel like I don’t crave insta-romance like I did when I was younger. When I was teen/early twenties, I ate it up! But now I love slow-burn love where a relationship is built first before the automatic “I love you”. Now that I have an understanding what it’s really like and how it’s so not the movies. A lot of the time it’s chilling at home, eating popcorn in sweats.

    I will still read the fluffy love books though! They are the quick fun reads to get lost in quickly, but I find myself really loving family dynamics or relationships between friends, versus lovers.

    Thanks for posting this discussion! It was a great read!

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  2. Yup! I try not to take romances too seriously or I just get annoyed with the characters. And books really need to have SOMETHING else going on or I feel like I’ve wasted me time with the characters. I generally only pick up a “true” romance novel when I need a few hours to kill and I don’t want to think about anything. And every one in a while, you find a good one!

    I hate hate hate insta-love!! Ahhhhh!! It’s not real!! LOL 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Also – forgot to add, The Others is my all time favourite series. So many people were complaining about how long it took, but I’m sorry not sorry, it was the best relationship journey I have ever read. I feel their relationship was so much deeper on so many levels, it was so beautiful. Honestly, Anne Bishop could make a scene of Simon and Meg just watching movies with Sam give me all the warm feels. I love love love that series.

    Side note – did you read Lake Silence? I loved it, I was hesitant at first since it wasn’t the same characters, but I really enjoyed it alot.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I feel like if I’m just really desperate for something cute and cheesy, I stalove will kind if work (I’ll still silently judge), but nothing beats a well written angst romance 😍

      And I know I sound biased but THE OTHERS IS AMAZING. I WILL ALWAYS RECOMMEND 😂

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  4. i love a good romance, but there has to be some sort of tension or pull to keep me reading. I’ve read romances where the characters are literally together in the first chapters and then nothing goes wrong and they’re in love instantly and it’s just boring. If a romance is done well, it can be a wonderful experience!

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    1. I noticed that there seemed to be a pattern and I can tell exactly when the first kiss will be and when they’ll break up… it makes it hard to find a good romance, but some of my favorites are the angst filled with lots of implication going on ❤❤

      Liked by 1 person

      1. That’s so true! I love it when a romance is just slightly predictable (I mean, you usually know who is getting together with who) but I still want it to keep me on my toes and throw out surprises here and there.

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